Jennifer tells all.....and dishes all!
She knows all, and doesn't let anyone forget it. Now, Jennifer VanPatterson-Patten, who is famous for her name dropping, tells everyone where she has been over the course of the past couple of years. She makes it clear she has fun, and she makes no bones about it. Wow, a couple of years in Europe can really make a difference. Not so much as others who aren't as fortunate as I am, can say, but I think its a blast to know what fun can be had on a European Cruise! I met names....oh let me tell you, I met NAMES! Before I tell you about them, let me tell you about me. My name is Jennifer VanPatterson-Patten. My mother, Helen was a real....well, let's just say she was the B word! She drank, almost every night in fact. As I always say, when she wasn't being an incubator, she was a lush....and a very MEAN lush at that! The woman's drinking really scandalized my old-line family. Helen (I do not call her Mother or mom, or anything schmaltzy like that, because she doesn't deserve it) went to my cotillion that Grandmother had set up so wonderfully, and chose to get herself completely smashed! Our family was never so embarrassed. I thought my life was over, especially when I was put in the Foster Care system, but it turned out that was short-lived. A kind and wacky woman named Wanda Madison plucked me out of foster care and adopted me outright. Because she worked as a nanny, she had a lot of love to give, and I was more than happy to become a part of her family. Her birth daughter, Eunice and I got along wonderfully. Eunice lives out of town now, but she and I still keep in touch. I moved back to Boston, when I heard Mom moved back. I live on Bowdoin Street in Beacon Hill, which I love. My apartment is filled with escapades of my many cruises and celebrity meet and greets I have done over the years. I knew I could live of Helen's money fine enough and never work a day in my life, but all play and no work makes Jennifer look like a jerk! (Please forgive the misquote) So, I decided to get a job as an entertainment reporter at WBOS-TV. Craig Atchley, the station owner, was thrilled, and so was my good friend, Rose! Rose is the news director and knows me well enough to know I am quite good at what I do. So, she created the role of entertainment reporter for yours truly! I have been around celebs most of my life, especially before I was thrown by Helen into the garbage can called Foster Care. However, my old friends did not forget what happened to me. Before the old bag died, they told me that my grandmother told her exactly where to go! And it was NOT pretty either! So, I was laughing like crazy! Mom Wanda told me later on that she made herself look stupid at a formal ball at the country club back in my hometown of Springfield. She drank EVERYONE under the table. Just because I know names, doesn't mean that I have to like them. I cannot stand the Kardashians. They give me a complete headache! I call them what they really are. Media whores, the whole boiling lot of them. Kris Humphries got smart and left their backsides. I think he is adorable, and he is a sweetheart. He met Dylan once and hey, those two got along well. Kris contacts Dyl and Adam on occasion and they have a lunch in Boston. Hey, connections work! Now, on the other hand, Kate Gosselin, that horrid woman with those eight poor kids, makes me so mad! One time, I was in New York, and she came over and started berating me because I was unmarried and had no children! Well! I was not gonna take that off someone who had dark roots with her blond hair (and a bad color job at that)! I told the old hag to leave me alone and to go and meddle in someone else's business and leave sane people alone. She never forgave me for telling her where to go. But it was time that someone had to. Some people who had the misfortune of working with the old bag told me that I was their hero for telling her where to get off! I liked that. (By the way, I met Jon, the kids dad, and he is about as nice as anyone, while Kate is a real witch with a B, who, like the Kardashians, is just too much of a media whore!) And Sarah Palin?! Now, you talk about a media whore, I think she is the poster woman for media whore! Good LORD! I can't even have a Perrier without HER shooting off her mouth! "Why won't you accept me?! Why do you scorn me?! Why won't you have a conversation with me?!" Part of me just wants to scream at her, "Because you are an opportunist; because you are a fake and a phony, and because having a conversation with you would be like being tortured and I will not do that!" One time, her uppity brat, Bristol told me what she thought of me telling her mother off. I told THAT little bitch (yes, I am gonna use that word, because that is what she and her mother both are, bitches) that she should be shutting her judgmental little mouth about people she doesn't know. No question, she stormed off and went to her mama and started to sulk! Entitled little piece of crap! Levi Johnston was wise to dump that little bitch, although they do have a child together. I hope he can counterbalance the Palin in that kid. Sarah Palin calls herself a Mama Grizzly, she more like a stupid piece of crap who has no semblance of decency! I met a guy on my last cruise, and he was very sweet and kind. He was gay, but that did not matter a lot to me. Gay people are MY kind of people. They are my besties. I am so pleased that Dylan found his love in Adam; and also Sean falling for the Harpers new financial adviser, Kevin. Libby, Dylan's bestie, told me that she would LOVE to hear my stories about the celebs. She was thrilled when I told her and Dylan that I had met Jeremy Kyle on my last trip to Manchester. Their Jeremy Kyle parties are legendary in Louisburg Square. I visit the Harpers all the time, they are pleased that I am back for good. And so am I. No matter where I roam, Boston is my home! I was stunned as anything when I heard that Michael passed away. I am in town for good now and I help his widow, Wendy, with things. Category:Episodes Category:Episodes from a character's view